Koiled Up With Jealousy?

You’ve done the big chop. You’ve transitioned. You’re a veteran natural. Or you’re just on your natural-haired journey. The question is whatever stage you might be in ‘Are you jealous?’. You’ve been researching , looking for new styles for your TWA, possibly become a DIYer, developed a hair regimen and even watch YouTube videos for tutorials. Many naturals have an ideal version of what they want their hair to look like. After transitioning from a relaxer to natural hair I wanted that voluminous, springy, thick hair that I saw on women when I viewed YouTube tutorials. As my hair grew and I realized that my hair was never going to be like that I was disappointed but found other ways to work with my hair and am happy that I do have my hair and not what I wanted in the past. Since going back natural texture, I have been asked about my hair and have helped other women with their journeys such as giving advice and giving recommendations for products.

However, no matter where I go, I notice within our natural hair community there are always the comments or looks from other naturals. Maybe it’s due to frustration, maybe it’s due to something that has nothing to do with hair. But as women, especially African-American women, it would be really nice to bond over our natural hair without jealousy. Being jealous is being petty; especially over hair. Why? Because each one of us has a different type of hair. Our hair may look the same but each head of hair will still act differently. I guarantee it. I can get one look and you will get another look and we could both start doing the same hairstyle. They might be subtle differences but they are still different.

Jealousy results in a lack of encouragement toward other people. We really need to encourage other people with natural hair. I challenge you, the next time you see a natural haired woman (passing you by or standing in line, etc) to compliment them. Especially when they are with a child – boy or girl. Natural hair has not been as accepted as straight hair in the past and we need to encourage it now more than ever. When you get compliments it makes you feel good right? So why not another person? And when children see that natural hair is appealing to someone outside of their family then it plants a seed. Complimenting and encouraging someone else also makes you feel good and it can also benefit your own self-confidence.  And they might even ask you some advice and you can encourage others even more and help educate others.

A good way to kick jealousy in its rear is through self-confidence. Remember that your hair is unique to you? Well, that means (if you are one who follows hair typing) whatever grade of hair you have or whatever group you may be in is strictly yours! Even if you don’t feel good about your hair or feel like you want to feel, try to fake it. Put on some makeup that makes you feel great or dress up. Fake it until you make it. Confidence draws others to you and in turn you can help others with their self-confidence.  Before you know it no one will be able to tell you anything (z-snap!!). 

So Ladies, are you koiled up with jealousy or dealing with it from others? Any advice for others on how stop the jealousy?




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