What to do-my spouse hates my natural hair!!


I recently encountered a hurdle with my spouse in my natural hair journey that I did not expect to stumble up on. When I big chopped, I heard that natural hair was going to be expensive; the products, the salon, etc. However, over time, depending on if you become a product junkie or make your own concoctions it can possibly put a hole in your wallet if you are careless. Since I had no help with my hair, when I researched, like a lot of naturals I went out and bought a whole bunch of products but I resisted becoming a product junkie due to me just trying to keep it simple and also finding Kim Love of Kimmaytube on YouTube. This led me to be a D.I.Y. girl.
Now my husband loved my natural hair. I asked for his opinion and like most men they like whatever we like as long as we like it when it comes to hair. For my husband in particular, he didn’t understand African-American hair. I had to explain to him why I did certain things to my hair and how I did them and why my hair couldn’t be washed everyday in the shower like his mother or sister’s could. It opened him up to the world of hair and why there was way more to hair than just washing and going out the door that he was used to in his past. But the money was bothering him. He just and still can’t get over the fact that one bottle of leave-in condition will not last me one month (it won’t last me 2 weeks!! Is it the same for anyone else?). So I let him know the things I need for my hair every month and if I run out of something particular it is mandatory (for me at least) that I replace it. He agreed to that. Since I am in my regimen now and there aren’t many things I need I figured ‘Okay, we’re over the test out every product’ hump and that this would be easier and less expensive.
So, one day, while in the car, I let him know that I was out of my Kinky Kurly Knot Today Leave In conditioner. We went to our local Walgreens and bought it. Yet he was frustrated. He told me “I’m really hating your hair now”. My jaw dropped. “If you’re natural, why don’t you just wear it natural?” To this day, my feelings are still a little hurt hearing that from him. I thought he always loved my hair (he even supported me when I was having a bad hair day lol) and to hear that he didn’t like it and after trying to let him know why I do the things I do to take care of it he still didn’t get it? I truly had to think ‘Where do I go from here?’ I couldn’t just wear my hair out in the dead of icy winter weather and have it all break off and stop taking care of my hair because he was tired of me spending money on the things that actually worked on my hair. Now I have a dilemma-should I change what I do? Does he hate my hair and how do I take that into consideration in our relationship? I know I am not the only person who has a spouse or significant other who does not like their natural hair. How do you handle that situation? Please comment below.

One Response

  1. Alma Ruddock
    Alma Ruddock March 8, 2015 at 5:58 pm | | Reply

    Aww I’m so sorry to hear that hun. Truthfully though I think your husband was just reacting to the cost of the product rather than your natural hair.

    Reminds me of when my husband said that he hates it when I diet simply because the cost of some of the diet food that I need to get and the confusion he faces trying to figure out what I can or cannot eat this week. Still it may be to your advantage to test other products that may also work on your hair just as well. Have you tried the iii sisters of nature products? I really love their leave in and for me it works just as well as kccc.

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